with pens

Under Clive’s direction, I’ve been reading a lot of Borges’. The hurricane has given me time I usually don’t; time to actually read – think – dream – sleep and read again. A fragment of an idea, an allegory, a story beginning to emerge…..

The thing is, I don’t believe in gardens or labyrinths or libraries or scrolls. That’s not what this thesis is. It’s true we share many similarities, but what Borges is interested in is the infinity of time. For me, I want to know about the infinity of space. Maybe a palace of Versailles, with the grand ballroom mirrors of mirrors of mirrors, hopping through each like a portal alike yet different and yet….. not perfect. I thought of projectionists too, a cinema with infinite number of viewing rooms – pitch dark hugged with red drapes, hansel & gretel leaving trails of popcorn from one dream to another.

It reminds me of the time I was trying to decide a landscape, that critical moment when I saw the grassland and African Genesis and romanticism at once — now I need it again, trying to puzzle this problem out. There is something in here, I just don’t know what it is yet.

Besides that, I finally came up with what I would consider a perfect evaluation. The evaluation of this project, will be the life of itself. It will only exist for the period of time that it should exist, and this period will be tied to a clock that counts backwards and collective humanity of people who decide whether or not to use it. So in a way, yes – I will build it for failure, for extinction…… that’s how it should be judged, I think. Not by me, not by a single entity or anything so miniscule, but the future. History after all, is best read with hindsight.

I’ve also decided to put a simple mental division between thesis class and thesis. Thesis is my zahir, thesis class is a class. They may or may not co-exist. They may or may not be the same thing. They may or may not influence each other. In other words, it is a parallel covolution.

In the same way, I’ve approached Ken Wark’s IS like this. It is also a thesis (or rather, a 6 credit IS). It is the thesis that could have existed on a different pathway, which also converges on the current thesis. There’s no reason that the thesis are seperate, nor is there any reason to see them as individual either. If you were to use a Borgesian analogy, this is a garden of parallel paths and both are appearing at the same time – domainly, but not converging. Or in simple words, this is an alternate universe thesis which is also existing.

I’m doing this very exact kind of mental ordering, because if not I think I’ll go insane soon. It’s kinda ironic, that I’m studying so much on the architecture of the mind; about columns and Zeno’s paradoxes; of Sublime and romanticism and most of all, how the mind creates architectures of memory… I guess that’s what obsession is, you just begin to see everything as the zahir. Breathe it, drink it, dream it. Every sensation is an extension of itself. Odd, isn’t it?

For the IS, I’ve proposed to a study into religion, or religiousity — redefining what is the meaning of religion, analysing religion in the context of DT using examples ranging from presidential campaign to occupy wall street as well as twitter, tumblr and kickstarter.

Maybe it’s like a mixtape. Or my favourite, a string of pearls. Maybe it’s a catacomb, or the pipes under a city, or an apartment block or a book that lists all the books ever written; maybe it’s a dictionary, a tourguide, a paradox

…… or maybe the reason why I cannot find it, is because it doesn’t exist. Maybe there is no real way, for us to even comprehend a set of infinity.


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